The Ballad of Spinach Quiche
This game is really entertaining! Alright, Shellos. It's got a round head with wide-set eyes, a doofy smile, with a set of pink fleshy knobs arranged like a flower on it's head. The body is ovular with a white underbelly, pink sort of shell with spikes on it, and slug-like "feet".

daww, he sounds like a cute little bugger

…then again

Trubbush - a grey garbage back with the handles tied up like bunny ears kinda and brown tentacle arms with little colorful candies sticking out of them. has two big eyes and an overbite smile.

Wow okay I’m pretty sure he drives a windowless van

Really? What does his evolution look like?

JESUS CHRIST

Carnivine! a venus flytrap with eyes and two tufts coming out on either side of its head, a circle body with a handful of tentacles coming out of the bottom, and big leaf like hands with three "fingers"

Okay wow I’m pretty sure this guy’s been in a few hentais

OH MY GOD THE REAL THING IS EVEN MORE TERRIFYING

How bout Scrafty? He's a orange lizard like guy with a red mohawk, yellow scarf thing, and constantly falling down yellow pants with a tail area. The tail has a red little spike coming out of the tail/pants. His eyes look drowsy and his mouth is like a scowling frown that shows his teeth.

punk lizards can be Pokemon too

right?

….nope

Giratina: Hexapedal death pagoda. Almost like a wide giraffe with short legs Blobby black wings with three red cones on each wing, 3 gold rib like things on the neck on each side plus gold "bracelets" on all 6 legs and gold claws Also a football head, with a crescent shaped crest and a dark face with red beady eyes. Black and red striped underbelly going down the neck

holy shit who is designing these things

Almost like a wide giraffe with short legs 

Okay, giraffe, got it

Blobby black wings with three red cones on each wing, 3 gold rib like things on the neck on each side

Okay?

plus gold “bracelets” on all 6 legs and gold claws

WTF it has SIX legs?

Black and red striped underbelly going down the neck

Oh my god what even is this

oh my fucking god

Alright, how 'bout Shinx? It has a small cat like body, a round head with a tuft of fur on the top, mouse like ears, front half of it's body is blue with a black band around it's neck, the back half is black, gold bands on each front paw, a golden four pointed star is on the inside of each ear and on the tip of the tail, large golden eyes and a ruff of fur where the tail meets the spine.

This pokemon just sounds fabulous.

okay how’s that

…huh, not too bad

So there's this Pokemon that's like four inches tall, right? It's a puffy little electric-bug Pokemon, that's yellow with kawaii blue eyes. It's kind of like you crossed a pom-pom with popcorn and a spider. Even though it's a spider it still manages to be pretty cute. Somehow.

so this guy’s name is Joltik?

…wow I’m really bad at this

Oh man you have to try Sigilyph! It's got a round body with zigzags around the top and bottom of it, and two round eyes in the middle. On top is a straight protrusion with another big round eye in the middle. It has two wings that resemble combs. Near the underside it has two three-clawed feet, that also resemble combs. Beneath them are two small spikes, then a tail that (of course) also resembles a comb. The whole thing is roughly based on the Nazca lines, so!

Whoa okay this one is weird. Let’s break it down:

It’s got a round body with zigzags around the top and bottom of it, and two round eyes in the middle.

…okay

On top is a straight protrusion with another big round eye in the middle. It has two wings that resemble combs.


oh my god what

Near the underside it has two three-clawed feet, that also resemble combs.

WHAT THE FUCK

Beneath them are two small spikes

….

then a tail that (of course) also resembles a comb.

jesus christ how horrifying

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

This sounds like so much fun. OK, Larvesta! It has six legs; the butt half looks like a Kakuna and the front half looks like a half peeled garlic; it has a round, black face underneath the white clover part of its head with blue eyes. It has five red peppers sticking out of its head similar to a lion's mane in the shape of a star.

Oh…kay, I have no idea what a Kakuna is but alright

How’d I do

…..fffffffff